It's A New Year

 

So it's 2012 and I'm sure everyone knows that already, even I know it but I don't feel it. You're supposed to be happy and excited for the new year but I couldn't feel the happiness. To me tonight signaled another year of me being stuck in the same body and in the same spot.

I know that I haven't blogged in so many months but I just thought I'd let you all know what's going on. Right now I am dealing with clinically diagnosed severe depression and am on medication to reduce my depression and anxiety. Some of you may say that depression isn't real and that I just have to "snap out of it" but that's not the case. I have tried. For me I feel a constant weight on my chest. It feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest and that I can't breath. Until this semester I didn't know what it meant to have your heart ache but I feel that often now. It really does feel like your heart is so sad that it just aches. It's not plesant.

Right now I'm just trying to overcome my depression and still eat better and lose weight. I don't want to be sitting in my bed 366 days from now eating or wishing I was skinnier. I want to be out at a party or anywhere, just not inside my house, having a fun time with a date. I have never been asked out once! I want this so bad.

So, I want to share my list of resolutions for 2012 with you:

1. Lose 10lbs by the end of January
2. Do at least one selfless deed a week
3. Floss everyday
4. Lose more than 50lbs this year
5. Get a good job
6. Cut back on fast food to once or twice a month
7. Save more than $500 by New Years Day 2013
8. Remind myself that even though life feels impossible right now I can make it
9. Go on at least one date this year
10. Make one friend that's a real friend

I have so much going on in my head and my life right now that I just need to get out and I hope this is my year to do so.

Wish me Luck!

Back Home Finally

I'm so glad to finally be back home and eating slightly better. Although so far I haven't had the best quality of food I've been eating less which I consider a positive myself.
Anyways, so I got the new Hp TouchPad today which is better than the iPad apparently and also $100 cheaper. So far I like it the only minuses are no netflix an no iTunes store but I'll see how it goes. If it doesn't go over all that well I'll just return this before going off to school and instead getting the iPad which was my original choice.

In regards to previous comments:

Isobel I'm sorry if you think that I'm "wishing for an eating disorder." I'm not and technically I already have the eating disorder of binge eating. And since you're not as large as I am I doubt that you know exactly how I feel. That's not to say that you don't feel like you want to lose weight or that you feel fat but I literally am fat. For the past few years I have felt more and more depressed and suicidal to the point where some days I can barely function. Perhaps this is true for you too in which case I support you. But I just wanted to let you know that I don't sit in my room at night praying to become anorexic.

Sophia, to be honest snacking really is not a problem for me. I really never do it unlesss I am in the middle of sports activity when I need to refuel. Also I know that is probably how I should feel about the guy but I literally can't let it go. I've been in love with him since kindergarten so you can't really just ditch something like that.

xxxx

No Thinspo Tonight

Yep. Definetly too Fat.

So I weighed in today which was most definitely a bad idea. 

243.2lbs.

 I have never weighted this much before and I hate it. I've turned into a gluttonous person.

I don't want to be this person.

Actual food intake today was not so bad.

But snacks and desserts added on top makes it much worse.

At least I'll be home Saturday night.

I just want to get away from bad foods that make me feel horrible,

(both mentally and physically)

I just want to let everyone know that we're all in the same boat.

We all feel the same way about food.

And we all want to be thin so we can stop feeling this way.

...so we can be thinner...

I want to be thin so bad.

I'm too afraid to go back to diving next year,

something I love something that makes me look gross due to swimsuits and being fat

I don't want to be anywhere near my friends or do anything that will make me remotely happy

I want to go back to hating myself

At least then I knew what I wanted and how to get it.

All I do is worry about what people will think.

When they look at me all I see is them staring at me wondering...

"Why is she so fat?"

"It's people like her who shouldn't be allowed to eat."

"Why is she eating a salad? Fat people don't like healthy foods."

And they're right. I am FAT. I shouldn't be allowed to eat or drive my car. I should only be allowed to starve and I should be required to only walk places until I am just bones.

Sorry this is so long and the rest of this post will just be my internal problems so feel free to skip it if you want.

I want this guy. I've known him since I was less than a year old and ever since them I've had a crush on him. So what's the problem? We hang out sometimes and always fool around but I actually want him. Of course there's no way he wants me. Who wants the fat girl hanging onto them at parties and having to feed your fat girlfriend? No guy does.

Then I had this great dream last night.

I was so thin.

My thighs were nonexistent and my arms were tiny.

My stomach was streched tight against my hip bones and my hair was perfect.

There wasn't an ounce of fat anywhere on my body.

And for once. I was happy.

I was beautiful.

And he wanted me.

This is all I want and he can't know.

He can't know that every calorie counted is a step back away from him.

And that I would starve myself to get him.

To be beautiful.

I would puke up my guts so that the girl in the mirror became beautiful.

So that she had friends and a boyfriend and so that everyone wanted to be her.

That's what thin gets you.

Stay strong lovelies as I struggle toward what I want,

xxxx

Thinspo for the Day

I will get what I want and you will be jealous.

I Feel Like I Have to be Honest with Myself

Have I weighed myself in the last week? No. Do I feel crappy about that? Yes.

I've just gotten to the point where I feel stuck. Too fat. I hate myself right now. Nothing fits and my thighs are huge. My stomach is gross.

I've been watching a lot of Supersize v. Superskinny and all I can conclude is that really soon I'm going to be the supersizer. I would hate myself for this.

On a better note. My summer program is almost done which means I'll be home for two weeks (which could be a disaster) but afterwards I'm back at school. I realize how much I've missed my dining hall with the foods that I know the calorie content of and can choose what I want to eat and when. Literally this summer has consisted of 7 weeks of Panda Express and Chick-fil-a. Foods I love but foods that should only be eaten once every 6 months.

I can't wait until greek yogurts and salads and low calories. I can have them now but I don't know how to anymore. I need to be in my safe spot with my normal foods.

I know this doesn't tell you anything about anything I'm doing now that's inspirational but check back in a few weeks and I'll be back on track. I know it's long term but I'd really like to lose 100lbs by next summer. I feel like if I dedicate myself though I can lose more than that.

I hope everyone else is staying skinny for the summer. =)

xxxx

Thinspo for the Day

I will get what I want and you will be jealous

Realizations

As I explored an amusement park with my friends today I was constantly in fear, on the verge of tears, and ready to run from the park at any point? Why? The reason we're all here, weight. All my friends would slide into the rides perfectly happy but at every different ride I would be terrified that the bar wouldn't fit down over my thighs or that my stomach couldn't be sucked in any farther to make the restraints fit. At one point it just wouldn't fit and I was ready to just cry in front of everyone but I moved. sucked in, and readjusted until the bar just barely clicked into the first notch.

Food is great but is it worth the terror I feel as the result of this "wonderful" food? I want to walk places and go on bike trips and have fun playing sports. Everything I've loved from a young age but can't truly enjoy anymore.

I'm just too fat now.
I need my scale desperately to see how screwed I am. I just eat mindlessly because it's what I can do. I need to stop. Now.

This is not a promise post. I don't promise to be the best role model because I know I haven't so far. But it is to kick myself into realizing how screwed up I am right now and right now I need this. I'm making a list of appropriate breakfast, lunch, and dinners that will hopefully help.

I'm reading all my old blogs to see where my strength comes from and where my weakness kills me. 

xxxx

Thinspo for the Day

I will get what I want and you will be jealous

Up a Creek and I Definetly Can't Find the Paddle

You know when you look around and everyone gets it? They get what they want and how to get it and they work towards it. They're just taking what you want away from you faster than you can try to find it.
That's what's going on with me now.

I want to be thin, skinny, tiny, [insert any synonym here]

All of you are getting this. You're fasting, restricting, running, working out. I can't. I feel so trapped. The more I worry about my weight and want to lose weight the more I put weight on. Isn't that backwards? I'm rarely ever hungry and yet I still fill myself. Isn't that stupid?

I don't need criticism right now. It would just make this all worse and I'd probably add another 10lbs to my already growing weight thinking about the comment.

I already hate myself. I'm not as fun as usual and I definetly don't participate in activities I used to do. I just hate that I can't be me anymore, regardless of how much I weigh I should be able to to be me. I know losing weight is the only way to do that. I wish I knew someone my age who also wanted to lose weight who lived near me and who could keep constant tabs on me. All it takes is that one look from a friend at my plate to make my stomach turn and make me push away the plate. No one will give me that look! They're too polite!

Someone please kick me butt in the right direction!

Sorry to be such a downer. I just wish I was more like the girls I see everywhere. They say x amount of Americans are obese but I hardly ever see them. All the people around me are all tiny or within a healthy weight range. I want to be unhealthy and in the underweight category instead of the large and in charge section.

This is my resolve though. I will do it. I would be extremely excited if I could lose 10-20lbs by the end of the summer (even though that wouldn't even get me back to where I was at Christmas it would be a start).

xxxx.

Thinspo for the Day

I will get what I want and you will be jealous

Home Finally

So just to catch everyone up because I've been gone for so long. My friend ended up living with me until the end of school, Thursday. Then I flew home on Friday and I have been unproductive since then...hehe. Guess that's what happens when you're home after finals.

So far I've fucked up on eating healthy since being home but I'm starting tomorrow. I'm hoping to aim for 800 or less calories while I'm home. I just need to find stuff that I can do at home to keep myself busy and out of the house. When I stay at home I snack which is not allowed.

I hate being home so much sometimes and then other times it's all I want.

This is the conclusion I came to a few weeks ago. My grandmother/adoptive mother doesn't notice me ever since my aunt came into the picture (long story that I won't tell now). My aunt is the overachiever and most well hired person in our family. She gets the smart and well-off card. Then my birthmother gets the recovered from being an alcoholic and drug addict card. I get nothing. So, I decided I wanted the thin card. No one in my family would be as thin as me. Then, the other morning I'm laying in bed listening to my grandmother/mother tell my godmother all about how my aunt has lost so much weight and how she looks so good now. I don't know what to do. She's taking the one thing I can conceptually have for herself. I want her gone.

I want to be the thinnest. I need to be. So I will restrict.

So that's where I am. I haven't weighed myself in forever either so I know I will be over 230 which will just be devestating. I hate my need to binge and snack. I need to stop it before it's too late.

I know I am super behind on blogs but I'll read them all and catch up. I'll read all your posts but probably only comment overall on your newest posts!

Stay strong and lovely!!!
xx

Thinspo for the Day

I will get what I want and you will be jealous

Super Quick

My friend has moved into my room. Not good. So now I suck at restricting because she's always there with snacks and dinner requests and I can say no to a few but not all of the times she offers. It's too much.

But.

It's only until the 5th of May. Which is great!

I also can't post because she's always right behind me looking at what I'm doing. So I will try to post when possible but to be honest, it won't be too much until I'm free from her.

Starting Over

Let me give you guys the breakdown from last Wednesday to today. One of my friends pissed her roommate off. I don't think that either of them has the right to be mad at the other for whatever reasons they are mad. Anyways, them being mad has led to my friend moving into my room when my roommate isn't here. Which has literally been Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night. So it's come to the fact that I can't weigh myself in the mornings because she's awake, I can't weigh myself before bed because she's here, and I can only weigh in the middle of the day after I've already eaten. I hate this! I'm trapped in my own room. And of course she's one of my two friends that whenever I'm around I can just binge like crazy. She doesn't eat a lot but it's like being with her gives me the right to. So basically I fucked up last week.

So...

I'm starting over. Starting today. I need people to notice me because I'm thin and I need to get to that level. I want it so bad. I now just quickly getup and weigh myself while she's brushing her teeth in the morning. I have to be quick but it worked this morning. I need my life back. I need to restrict.

So far today I have had a diet coke (0), barely any of my stir fry from lunch (~68), 14 french fries (94), couple bites of a chicken wrap (~50), and half an oatmeal cookie (45). Bringing my midday total to 258. Pretty good considering my usual midday total.

Up until May there is no real plan. Just to not eat like a pig and hopefully drop a couple or a few pounds.

I hope all of you are doing well, xx

Thinspo for the Day

I will get what I want and you will be jealous.

Edit: I had a Healthy Choice Steamers Meal for dinner (340) so all in all today I have had 598 calories!

Can't Believe I Made it to Thursday!

Waking up yesterday I was nervous. I didn't eat a lot Tuesday but I just didn't feel like I do in the mornings when I think I've lost. And sure enough, I gained! How could I gain so much from one meal? Back up to 229.0

I tried really hard to restrict yesterday but I hit the binge zone last night with mini donuts, wheat thin sticks, sushi, cookie dough, and chips. It was horrible. But then once again, weird enough, I lost this morning. Maybe my metabolism needed a kickstart but I was down to 227.4. It's not 227.2 (I'm picky) but it's still low enough that it made me feel much better about myself!

Now, on to today. So far so good. I have no clue what I'll be eating today. For sure a salad at some point and I've had about 1/2 a can of diet coke and one piece of gum but that's about it.

I'm excited because my friend told me last night I should try out for dance team next year. I'll have to stretch like crazy and lose A TON of weight before tryouts in the fall but if I do I think I could do reasonably well. I really want to do that and pledge a sorority. And no one wants a fat sorority sister!

Ok, that's it for now. I'll probably edit later tho!
Stay Skinny! xx

Thinspo for the Day

I will get what I want, and you will be jealous

Edit: I hate myself for having to write this edit. I can feel the shame throughout my whole body. I feel all the fat on every bone of my body weighing me down. I want it gone and yet all I did to fix that today was eat. Eat. Eat. Eat.

I suck. I didn't binge. That, I did not do. I just ate my regular portions multiple times today and I hate unhealthy food too. I'm so mad at myself.

Tomorrow WILL be better. I'm stronger than I think and I need that part of me to show itself.

It's Tuesday

Today sucked pretty much. I got into the college I want to transfer to and study anthro at only to not get enough financial aid to go. So I'm stuck on this campus where I binge, people know me as the fat kid, and I am trapped in my room too often. I cried for half an hour this morning and only got up when I had to get Chemistry help for my test tomorrow.

I was kinda sad though as neither of my best friends would take me anywhere and all I needed was to be off campus. I wanted to stop crying and having a breakdown and it got to the point where I considered getting up, going to the bus stop and just never getting off until I was too far away to turn around. I wanted to so bad. I had the money too. But I'm too responsible and the Chem test kept me here. I feel pretty confident about it but I still had to study quite a bit.

At least next year I have a single and I don't have to do diving unless I want to. I will only be ready for next year if I reach my target goal of 160 (Ok, I will be happy with 170 or less but I want 160). I want the shock affect of, "Uhm, you're tiny. How did you do that?" And I'll just laugh as I only eat apples and diet coke and say, "I finally found my willpower."

I'm ready and I hope I can blog all summer. I'll be at a medical school for at least 2 months out of the summer doing research basically. I'm really excited! They're paying me $3,000 too!

I have convinced myself in this post that next year and this summer will not suck! They will be great! The only thing I have to do is find a major that I really want to do as my school right now does not have anthro and that's what I really want to do. But I can't transfer junior year and try to start that major then. It just wouldn't happen. So that's one obstacle but I'm positive I can figure it.

P.S.  5lbs down since midnight on saturday!! On my way down!

It is 9:30pm and I am dead tired. I'm going to crash very soon after finishing this. Oh btw (sorry for my crazy mind!) I only had fried rice, egg rolls, and diet coke all day. I had 3 jelly beans for a psych study someone was doing in the quad so in total I've had less than 1,000calories today which is like great for me!

nite.nite.
xxxx

Thinspo for the Day

i will get what i want. and you will be jealous

Pretty Good

Today I was down to 228.2. Which gives me a grand total of 4lbs since midnight on Saturday. I just hope it keeps going down tomorrow.

Today had ups and downs. I planned out my meals for today on Livestrong.com which was a good idea but then I screwed up my lunch. I was supposed to have a whole wheat, humus, lettuce, tomato, and onion sandwich with an apple, carrots, and cucumbers but instead I went for the salmon and rice option. At least I got 1/2 brown rice but that still kicked up my calories. Then, I had 2 Reese's Eggs. Damn Easter candy! I didn't even know about Reese's eggs until a couple weeks ago. Oh well, that added on some calories and I'm supposed to hang out with my friend tonight so who know what that will mean.

But...
What I'm most proud of today is that I went to my refrigerator got out the big tub of chocolate chip cookie dough and got out my last two Reese's eggs and I stood there, in front of my mirror, crying and telling myself not to eat them. And somehow I managed to slowly stuff them back into the fridge and the back of my closet. It may just be a small accomplishment to you guys but it is big to me. I most likely would have gone on to eat half the tub, and it's one of the giant Nestle tubs too! Oh well, a pat on the back for me.

My friend caught on to my skipping meals. I told her I wasn't walking down the hill to get food and she told me that starving is not the way to eat healthy. I wanted to yell at her, "Screw being healthy! I just want to be 100lbs thinner. No matter what it takes." But I didn't and instead I told her I eat, just not when she does and that I'm perfectly fine. Then of course she texts me today and asks me if I want to go to lunch. I'm way to smart to turn that down and risk looking like I'm lying and I really am starving and so I had my slip-up and ate the salmon and rice. At least it wasn't as bad as the quesadilla or the hamburger that I most likely would have gotten. I'm so glad I didn't do that!

Sorry for the long daily breakdown. I want to lose this weight and I need to be 227.2 or less (preferably 224) by Saturday morning. I'm trying to lose 5lbs/week officially starting in May but it's not like I'm gonna slack off until then. These next two weeks are like the start up to the hard-core restricting.

I can't wait to be thin!

Thinspo for the Day

 i will get what i want

Edit:
I screwed after I wrote this. A tuna sandwich, 1 1/2 snack bags of wheat thins, an oatmeal rasin cookie, and half a purity organic strawberry lemonade. Overall today I stayed below 2000, but not by much. I. Just hope my weight maintains or goes down tomorrow. Please not back up!

Kinda On Track Again

I will say today has been the best so far. I was trying to do a 24 hour fast but by about 5:30 my stomach was in so much pain I had to put something in it. I will be the first to say that I am addicted to water but as soon as I try to fast suddenly I don't water, I don't want diet coke, I don't want anything and that probably screws me up the most.

I have spent this entire weekend relaxing. So bad but I did not have the energy to deal with life or to move. I just got out of bed at 5:30 today due to the hunger pains. I stayed in bed, despite the sauna-like temperatures and thought. I thought about my stomach and how it hangs, and how I hate my life and how I wish I could starve until by body fat % was 0. I want this to be over with and the only way to do that is for me to lose all this stupid weight. I want it gone. I checked Livestrong.com and I can lose 3.5lbs a week by eating 874 or less calories. That seems so much but I know I should aim for that.

My new life was planned to start today and while I could not follow through with the fast I still only ate one meal, trying to get rid of all the take out in my fridge.

I look around me constantly and all I see are tiny people. All I want is to be like them a lot of the time now I just feel so depressed because of it. I feel sluggish and I don't want to get out of bed or I don't want to go to class but usually I force myself to do so. Everything is so hard now. I have gained so much weigh as of late Since winter break (like 4 months) I have gained 20lbs. How does that happen? I don't know but I'm over it. I'm supposed to enjoy a breakfast at a fancy bakery on Saturday morning so my goal is from today to saturday to be at least 5lbs lighter by then. At midnight yesterday (the beginning of this thingy) I was 232.2 (Please don't hate me or stop reading because I'm so fat.). Around noon today I was 229.0 and I will weigh again tonight. If I can stay above this 229 then I'll already be down 3.2lbs and I'll just need to lose 1.8lbs more.

Oh please let me get there!

Thinspo for the Day

i will get what i want xxxx

The Week/Day/Year from Hell (excuse my French)

Today = the worst. I have hit the bottom. I can't walk around without wanting to cry and hide in my room until I am thin. I hate the people around me because they're all soo skinny and they don't try. Why can't I not try?

I learned my birthmother is like 287lbs. Please don't let me get up there. I would literally kill myself.

So, today...

woke up early. breakfast:

chobani strawberry yogurt (140)

whole wheat english muffin (134)

strawberry jelly (50)

blended mocha (180)

apple turnover the first fail of the day (170)

got hungry in class:

1 ounce raw almonds (160)

had lunch:      

"could have had the whole order but only ate about 1/4 of the order" shrimp stir fry (46)      

salad with carrots, romaine, cucumbers, sunflower seeds, and balsamic (146)      

Dinner (aka bingefest):

4 mozzarella sticks (403)

Bacon burger with ketchup, mustard, and mayo (682)

1 small bag Doritos (140)

2 ounces pistaschios (340)

Talk about a day full of eating my feelings. I did it. I totaled 2,554. Can you beat that? I wish someone could so I didn't feel so shitty.

As weird as it sounds (especially to me) I want to be empty. I want to purge all the food I ever eat again and I would if I didn't have to do it in a stall next to someone else. Damn!

I want to fast for weeks and never stop but I don't think I can and I don't know how I did it before.

I haven't wanted to crawl up and bed and cry for awhile but now I want to for the next couple of hours.

I'll let you all know how tomorrow goes....

Thinspo for the Day

xxxx

Tired

Dieting, walking, homework all are too much for me and i'm sooo tired. I bought weight loss pills and whether they actually work or not they've inspired me to eat less which is good.

I am nowhere near where I need to be and I need the scale numbers to go down. I need to not eat. I've realized that it's harder to make it through a day when you eat breakfast than if you just don't eat until you can't bear it anymore. So we'll have to see about that. Right now I just want to sleep. So far today's been pretty good. up to 711 calories due to a vegan cookie but staying strong. If I get the nerve to do so, I'll go to the gym tonight. I hope I can, I'm just tired.

I want to lose as close to 4lbs in the next week as possible. This may be hard as my mother's coming to visit me this weekend (I'm really excited!) but I'm still going to make an attempt. My jeans almost refuse to fit now and it sucks. I hate my body.
Well I will repost hopefully next wednesday depending on my results. haha.

Thinspo for the Day

xxxx

Does anyone every just want to

eat until you literally can't eat anymore and then never stop? This is my problem. My weakness. I have gained pounds and pounds and pounds and I can't bear to stop eating. I need a break but I don't know how. I feel trapped between my friends and I have nowhere to go.

On one side my friend forces me to eat three "real" meals a day and on the other side my friend wants to snack. It's screwing me over.

Is it wrong to ditch you friends to get closer to your goals?

I’m so confused and lost. And I wish I knew someone at my school who restricted so that I could use them as support. All of you guys are so inspirational and you mean so much to me but I need someone to txt wenever. Day or night. I haven’t found anyone yet.

Today I tried desperately to liquid fast but I couldn’t get away from my stupid friend and not eat lunch. I got dragged to the fast food restaurant on campus. Great. Then to fro yo later and lastly to dinner at the same fast food restaurant.

Just kill me.

Kill me now because nothing is working.

Follow-up

Well this is just another post this morning (not from my phone) and I wanted to say that yes, I need your help and if any of you are willing to txt me plz email me. whyshouldweeat@yahoo.com

Other than that, I'm lost. I don't know what to do today and I'm kind of overwhelmed. I just want to sleep for days and then go home, away from school. I'm really starting to hate it here.

Oh well, there's your thinspo, comment or email me!

Thinspo for the Day

xxxx

I Need Help! Please?

Well, it's Thursday and I don't have a texting buddy. What do you all think I should do? I already promised my friend that I would go back to school shopping with her at the end of the summer. Advice? I want to be so much smaller but I have such a hard time doing so. I miss not.quite.ana SOOO MUCH!! She's how I made it through fasting last time.

Well help me out please?
xxxx

Today and Yesterday Not So Good

First of all, does anyone want to do the SGD with me? It would really help if I had a buddy to do it with. Right now it's just me fighting an uphill battle and I need some support. If so please let me know. We could start like Thursday or Tomorrow even. Please Buddy up with me?!

Yea so basically Monday sucked I was doing sooooo good and then of course I had to watch SuperSize me for class and instead of depressing me it made me want McDonalds (fuck!) and so I went and ate toooo much! Gdamit! (srry for the profanities). Also, my friend has taken it upon herself to make me eat lunch and dinner with her and if I try to say I have something to do she just gets pissed off and takes me with her. So I gotta work on that.......Tips?

I hate these days when I just feel fat and I feel people staring at me. I need to get motivated except the only time that I truly feel motivated is after I eat which is cheating, no matter what I eat. Let's get itttttt. SGD gonna start on Thursday! Really gonna do it! Please let me know it you want to do it. Txt me or email me.

Thinspo for the Day

hugs and kisses

my momma told me when I was young we are all superstars

Ready for Tomorrow

Hello lovelies,

I have eaten all the bad food in my room and am preparing to throw out all the rest I am starting a new journey tomorrow. I'm calling it my journey to 140, well 140 for now...lol. But the first step is I am going to attemp SGD over the next 30 days and hopefull lose some serious weight. I keep failing and I need to get back on track. I need to not feel the need to eat at least three times a day. I need to be serious and give up on food. It's just making me fatter. What kind of friendship is that? Well, tomorrow is day 1 so that means 400 calories. I hope I can do this. It says to eat as many vegetables and fruit without counting calories but I might set a limit on that too. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

I hope you all are doing great and please if someone needs a texting buddy text me because it really helps me keep going strong.

Night!

Thinspo for the Day

hugs and kisses