Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Punishment Probably Awaits

All I can say is that I am a horrible person. I HATE myself right now and my friends aren't helping me at all. Last time I told you that Tuesday marked the beginning of GM and no more eating out. Then, they conveniently decide Monday night that we should all go to In-N-Out for lunch on Tuesday. When I said I didn't want to they guilt tripped me into going! So I couldn't start GM because it would be vegetable day today and In-N-Out doesn't have vegetables. Damn!

Other than that I have failed in the weight category. The fact that I was 207 a little more than a month ago seems unreal and my weight now just seems pitiful. I want to blame my coaches and my diving friends since I had to come back early and eat with them and eat out with them. But it must also be my fault. I promised myself that I wouldn't ever go over 215 again and I've failed horribly at that too! I am now 218.4 I am devastated and depressed to report. I haven't been this high since September or October!

I know that recently I have totally sucked at posting but hopefully unless some unknown things occur I should be posting daily again. Trying to get this weight thing right. I think I should aim for 1,000 again like I did originally and then go down to 800, then 500, and then hopefully 400. I will say though that dive/swim season ends on the 22nd of February and after that I will be able to do whatever I want (I hope). I'll just have school and friends to deal with. But I won't have to worry about eating lunch or having a snack before diving so that I have energy, I can just skip them.

Here's me and my diver friends. See how skinny they are and how fat I am? (I'm second to the right)
The girl on the left is my main thinspo.

If anyone's still following and you feel the need to give encouragement I welcome it so much! I need someone to kick me butt (maybe literally) back into shape. I need to suck it up and lose the weight!

Alrighty! Off to my first class of 2011 now! Wish my luck!

Thinspo for the Day
Love all you lovlies,


  1. Being on an athletic team requires that you eat and perform. It is impossible to severely restrict and expect your body to perform well enough to do yourself and your team proud! I played roller derby for 5 years and it is a difficult thing to balance.

    Cut yourself a little slack until the season ends, then restrict like hell. Next year you can emerge a more confident athlete and be another person's thinspo. <3