Thursday, April 21, 2011

Can't Believe I Made it to Thursday!

Waking up yesterday I was nervous. I didn't eat a lot Tuesday but I just didn't feel like I do in the mornings when I think I've lost. And sure enough, I gained! How could I gain so much from one meal? Back up to 229.0

I tried really hard to restrict yesterday but I hit the binge zone last night with mini donuts, wheat thin sticks, sushi, cookie dough, and chips. It was horrible. But then once again, weird enough, I lost this morning. Maybe my metabolism needed a kickstart but I was down to 227.4. It's not 227.2 (I'm picky) but it's still low enough that it made me feel much better about myself!

Now, on to today. So far so good. I have no clue what I'll be eating today. For sure a salad at some point and I've had about 1/2 a can of diet coke and one piece of gum but that's about it.

I'm excited because my friend told me last night I should try out for dance team next year. I'll have to stretch like crazy and lose A TON of weight before tryouts in the fall but if I do I think I could do reasonably well. I really want to do that and pledge a sorority. And no one wants a fat sorority sister!

Ok, that's it for now. I'll probably edit later tho!
Stay Skinny! xx

Thinspo for the Day
I will get what I want, and you will be jealous

Edit: I hate myself for having to write this edit. I can feel the shame throughout my whole body. I feel all the fat on every bone of my body weighing me down. I want it gone and yet all I did to fix that today was eat. Eat. Eat. Eat.

I suck. I didn't binge. That, I did not do. I just ate my regular portions multiple times today and I hate unhealthy food too. I'm so mad at myself.

Tomorrow WILL be better. I'm stronger than I think and I need that part of me to show itself.

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