It's Tuesday

Today sucked pretty much. I got into the college I want to transfer to and study anthro at only to not get enough financial aid to go. So I'm stuck on this campus where I binge, people know me as the fat kid, and I am trapped in my room too often. I cried for half an hour this morning and only got up when I had to get Chemistry help for my test tomorrow.

I was kinda sad though as neither of my best friends would take me anywhere and all I needed was to be off campus. I wanted to stop crying and having a breakdown and it got to the point where I considered getting up, going to the bus stop and just never getting off until I was too far away to turn around. I wanted to so bad. I had the money too. But I'm too responsible and the Chem test kept me here. I feel pretty confident about it but I still had to study quite a bit.

At least next year I have a single and I don't have to do diving unless I want to. I will only be ready for next year if I reach my target goal of 160 (Ok, I will be happy with 170 or less but I want 160). I want the shock affect of, "Uhm, you're tiny. How did you do that?" And I'll just laugh as I only eat apples and diet coke and say, "I finally found my willpower."

I'm ready and I hope I can blog all summer. I'll be at a medical school for at least 2 months out of the summer doing research basically. I'm really excited! They're paying me $3,000 too!

I have convinced myself in this post that next year and this summer will not suck! They will be great! The only thing I have to do is find a major that I really want to do as my school right now does not have anthro and that's what I really want to do. But I can't transfer junior year and try to start that major then. It just wouldn't happen. So that's one obstacle but I'm positive I can figure it.

P.S.  5lbs down since midnight on saturday!! On my way down!

It is 9:30pm and I am dead tired. I'm going to crash very soon after finishing this. Oh btw (sorry for my crazy mind!) I only had fried rice, egg rolls, and diet coke all day. I had 3 jelly beans for a psych study someone was doing in the quad so in total I've had less than 1,000calories today which is like great for me!

nite.nite.
xxxx

Thinspo for the Day

i will get what i want. and you will be jealous